. . . w i t h | a r m s | s w i n g i n g . . .

Sunday, October 10, 2004 · posted at 2:01 AM

You probably think this song is about you.

This week on UPN's Top Model, the theme of the girls' photo shoot is beauty shots with a clean face. Meaning no makeup, no cover-up, just the camera, a tube of Nivea for their hands, and whatever insecurity they house laid out in the open.

During judging they showed a touched-up photo and the same photo without touch-ups. The non-touch-ups were not a pretty sight. They showed every bump, every bag, every wrinkle.

The rational for a bare photo? Airbrushing and the like is expensive and time-consuming. The less of it the better. And after editing the New York pictures, I really can't argue.

I don't know if it's because it was raining, or because it was the end of a 48-hour day, but the pictures from the Empire State Building were frightening. We all looked as though we had dipped ourselves into a vat of Kat's lip gloss.

There are people who are just naturally photogenic. And for the rest of us there's PhotoShop. A healing, clone stamp, and layering later, a picture goes from "yeee" to "yay."

For those of you who believe in virgin pictures – good for you. Go find yourself something flawless, something in a vacuum, something without sebaceous glands. As for me, I feel by PhotoShopping photos I'm really doing a service.

In the same way we crop random people out of pictures, use a red eye marker, or "rotate arbitrary" to improve the aesthetic quality of a picture, so am I improving the quality of a picture by making it easy to see the picture rather than be blinded by the light from my shiny forehead.

Things I've realized from fixing photos amateur-style:

The cloning tool works wonders. However, this procedure is very similar to skin grafts. While a skin graft can be used to cover wounds or burns, you need to have an unaffected area to retrieve the donor graft. Sometimes there's no perfect patch to clone.

It helps to have a tan. Trying to cover the shiny white from someone who's, well, white to begin with can get tricky.

Flyaway hair can be removed if covering less than 10% of the face. Beyond that, it's every Enkidu for themselves… Also, erasing baby hairs (see Jennifer Lopez) can affect hairlines. Be cautious not to Conehead the person.

Half-shut eyes can be remedied by copying a portion of the eye and layering it at its normal position.

Prevention, as always, is the best cure. We're blessed with oil-blotting paper. We really ought to utilize it.

And believe me I had to pay for my vanity. You think looking at uneven complexions and coruscating skin in a 4x6 is uncomfortable? Try sitting at the computer for hours and staying at pores magnified 5x. Yeah not so much fun.

Don't you. Don't you.



	Sunday, October 10, 2004 · posted at 2:01 AM You probably think this song is about you. This week on UPN's Top Model, the theme of the girls' photo shoot is beauty shots with a clean face. Meaning no makeup, no cover-up, just the camera, a tube of Nivea for their hands, and whatever insecurity they house laid out in the open. During judging they showed a touched-up photo and the same photo without touch-ups. The non-touch-ups were not a pretty sight. They showed every bump, every bag, every wrinkle. The rational for a bare photo? Airbrushing and the like is expensive and time-consuming. The less of it the better. And after editing the New York pictures, I really can't argue. I don't know if it's because it was raining, or because it was the end of a 48-hour day, but the pictures from the Empire State Building were frightening. We all looked as though we had dipped ourselves into a vat of Kat's lip gloss. There are people who are just naturally photogenic. And for the rest of us there's PhotoShop. A healing, clone stamp, and layering later, a picture goes from "yeee" to "yay." For those of you who believe in virgin pictures – good for you. Go find yourself something flawless, something in a vacuum, something without sebaceous glands. As for me, I feel by PhotoShopping photos I'm really doing a service. In the same way we crop random people out of pictures, use a red eye marker, or "rotate arbitrary" to improve the aesthetic quality of a picture, so am I improving the quality of a picture by making it easy to see the picture rather than be blinded by the light from my shiny forehead. Things I've realized from fixing photos amateur-style: The cloning tool works wonders. However, this procedure is very similar to skin grafts. While a skin graft can be used to cover wounds or burns, you need to have an unaffected area to retrieve the donor graft. Sometimes there's no perfect patch to clone. It helps to have a tan. Trying to cover the shiny white from someone who's, well, white to begin with can get tricky. Flyaway hair can be removed if covering less than 10% of the face. Beyond that, it's every Enkidu for themselves… Also, erasing baby hairs (see Jennifer Lopez) can affect hairlines. Be cautious not to Conehead the person. Half-shut eyes can be remedied by copying a portion of the eye and layering it at its normal position. Prevention, as always, is the best cure. We're blessed with oil-blotting paper. We really ought to utilize it. And believe me I had to pay for my vanity. You think looking at uneven complexions and coruscating skin in a 4x6 is uncomfortable? Try sitting at the computer for hours and staying at pores magnified 5x. Yeah not so much fun. Don't you. Don't you.	Recent Posts True North You know that point in your life when ... Flummoxed I just can't get enough of the little b... In the future the appropriate answer is "Yes, sir,... Mechanical failure. I don't know anything about t... I never really accomplished anything - not countin... Your sympathy will get you left behind. Two sum... Twelve Step It Obsessions are as defined by (1), ... I just registered for the GRE. Nerd as I am, I li... Psychoanalyze this. While I'm no fan of the icebr... In our world, where there are more and more faces,... Morning news babie goose ryan bluemouse daves son dawntaught desiree diorama emily escadawg galveric high entropy invisible cube jepgato kyellow lilly mhuang mogbert nudream starfish + coffee verbivore Archives March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 November 2008

	all humiliation © by author