Monday, April 18, 2005 · posted at 4:48 AM
You know how sometimes when you're channel surfing on tv, you find a good program but instead of stopping, your morbid curiosity makes you keep flipping. But then you don't find anything you like better so you go back to the first show but it's on commercial break, or it just ended, or you can't even find it anymore.

Yeah, I hate when that happens.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 · posted at 3:39 AM
To have and to hold. This weekend was my roommate's wedding. Yay. A long-awaited day in many ways and truly a privilege to share in part of this couple's love story.

Seeing as how this was my first "friend" wedding (versus family-friend or co-worker), I thought I'd write a laundry list of lessons... so I can promptly forget them by the time the next wedding (estimated 2007) rolls around.

What I learned from my roommate's wedding weekend:
  • I left my cell phone at home. The first and last days without it were withdrawal-inducing and proved anti-climactic when I returned to two missed calls and a text message. Apparently I can live without my cell phone and the world can live without me.
  • Two days without internet is fine, but three is pushing it. I ended up desperately traversing hotels at 5am on the third night searching for a computer with internet access. Which I finally found but it was password-protected!! I felt like I was trapped in a "Got Milk?" commercial... so close yet so far...

  • The emergency exit aisles of the airplane get an extra 8 inches of leg room. Not that I need that much leg room, but it's not a bad trade-off for the small chance of disaster striking and having to crack open a door.
  • Trying to sleep on airport terminal seats while in the presence of a fluorescent-clad cheer squad is an impossibility.

  • Orlando has a 6.5% sales tax.

  • Californians are spoiled when it comes to the plethora of estheticians. We went to four different salons advertising nail services before finding one that was actually able to do a walk-in mani/pedi. This also happened to be the only time we'd see Asian people during our trip as well.
  • 20 minutes is the amount of time one can walk in the paper sandals before the rocks start breaking through.
  • 4 hours is the approximate time I was able to keep my nails pristine from chipping.

  • "Indian clothes" is the correct answer to the question "What will everyone else be wearing?" when attending a function with a predominantly Indian audience. I lost count of how many times I heard the phrase, "you must be the bride's roommates."
  • Placing a bhindi on your forehead is an art - particularly if you have asymmetrical features. The long bhindis versus the round ones makes this task easier.
  • Every wedding should have a baraat, the groom's processional, where the groom's family sings and dances towards the bride's family. Very West Side Story - minus the tragedy.
  • There is money to be made at Hindu weddings. This can be accomplished by stealing the groom's shoes or literally standing in the way of the departing couple. Example in the argument for cultural sensitivity: the limo driver tried to "Red Rover" his way through the human chain and was greeted with a tangerine in the windshield.

  • Every conversation starts with "So how do you know the bride/groom?" or "So when did you get into town?"
  • There are two things English guys can do like no other:
    • Drink. For the out of town guests, it was a whole week of Bacchanalia.
    • Dress. I've never seen pastel on pastel look so damn good.
  • How to tie a Windsor Knot.
  • Bhangra and booty music are not too far apart on the music continuum.
  • You haven't lived until you've seen women in saris, salwars, lenghas, and kurtas doing the Electric Slide...

  • I cry at weddings.
  • A s***-load of vodka tonics will make a banshee s***-faced.

All that being said... can't wait for the next one. Anyone? Anyone?

Friday, April 01, 2005 · posted at 10:28 PM
Troy: See Lainy, this is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks.

Lelaina: You got it!

~ Reality Bites

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