Friday, June 17, 2005 · posted at 1:05 AM
Mmm. Reprocessed pig fat.

The county fair is back - bringing summer concerts, petting zoo animals, rickety rides, and roasted, bbq-ed, fried and chocolate-dipped foods with all their fat-filled goodness.

To the novice fair-goer, all the stands and booths may be overwhelming. Actually, even to the seasoned fair-goer, the variety of food is worth at least one full day trip or two evening trips (my roommate went four times during its four week stint last year). This year I've figured out the trick to maximizing your food/music/ride intake.

Food: Like Thanksgiving, prep your stomach for the gorge fest by snacking or drining throughout the day. The body can only take so much grease at a time, so alternate fried foods between... well all other foods. Example: fried zucchini (which is not zucchini slices or wedges, but a whole zucchini battered and fried), roasted corn, Australian battered potatoes, soft serve ice cream, calamari, kettle corn, funnel cake, Polish sausage, etc. Rides make a good intermission from eating.

Music: Enjoy concurrently with food. Load up with refreshments (see above) and head to the concert seating area. Settle down to snack and listen to the music - if you can hear it over the munching of your food. Check the concert schedule when you get there. We lucked out and happened to go on the day that old school R&B group 112 performed (this was the second "1996 was almost a decade ago? good gracious I'm old" moment of the week).

Rides: I'm not a huge ride person to begin with. Add in the fact that these rides are thrown up in the matter of a few days and not even the $42 value pack that includes ride tickets can convince me to go on more than a couple. However, if rides are your thing, I recommend you do all your rides back-to-back. This way you'll minimize the appetite depression that comes with disorientation and you can sooner start the food cycle over again.

Also, the best-value ride? The race-your-potato-sack-down-a-giant-slide kiddie ride "Fast Trax" for 4 tickets. I'm not just saying this because I won (perhaps the one time being bottom heavy is an advantage). From the steps up to the top, you get an aerial view of the carnival's twinkling lights. While some of the other rides bring you up to amazing heights as well, you'll likely be too anxious, too upside-down, or too busy stopping your heart from leaping out of your chest to truly appreciate it.

So aside from food, fun and the opportunity to see a population of San Diego you seldom remember exists, what makes the fair such an important tradition? The county fair is the unofficial harbinger of summer. Next up: 4th of July fireworks, beach hooky days, weekend road trips, late sunsets...

I can't wait... well maybe I can wait until after one more chocolate-covered frozen banana...

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