Thursday, August 04, 2005 · posted at 10:49 PM
Ida Know. When I was in high school, there was this guy who said (I heard this story secondhand so I'm paraphrasing):
Every day I go home and find ways to put off my homework. I watch tv, I eat, I basically do everything but my homework. It's this big looming cloud of dread, the idea of doing homework... And then it gets to be 10 or 11 o'clock at night and I have to do it. So I finally start and it only takes me about an hour and I think to myself, "That wasn't so bad, why didn't I just do it before?" And then I repeat the whole process again the next day.
At first I laughed. Then I realized it was true. Then I thought, "Why are we so stupid?"

Years later and I'm still operating on the same principles. I moan and groan and complain and procrastinate. And upon completion always kick myself for not getting it over with quicker. Sometimes I think the anticipation, that cloud of dread is worse than the actual task itself. Other times I am sure of it.

Question: How many days does it take to change a lightbulb?

Day 1: Notice the light in the bathroom is flickering. Huh.

Day 2: Notice the light in the bathroom is no longer working. Take shower in the dark.

Day 3: Think about replacing the light.

Day 4: Tell myself I like showering in the dark.

Days 5-13: Leave the house. Hope that the light will work when I come back.

Day 14: Shower in the dark. Nick my leg shaving. Decide to change the lightbulb. Almost fall off the side of the tub trying to take the cover off the light. Think about bringing my chair in. Feel overwhelmed by the prospect. Go watch tv.

Day 15: Get shampoo in my eye. Decide to change the lightbulb. Look for spare lightbulb in closet. Pry cover off. Find special circular fluorescent bulb inside. Decide to change lightbulb tomorrow.

Day 16: Go to Target to buy lightbulb. Go home when Target doesn't have lightbulb because "So you think you can dance" is starting soon.

Day 17: Drive to Home Depot to get circular bulb. Get distracted by the Barnes and Noble across the street. Buy lightbulb. Go home. Find it's the wrong circular bulb. Hit the lightbulb out of frustration. The lightbulb turns on.

So after 17 days, I can now see and distinguish my shampoo, conditioner, body wash and face cleanser. It's amazing that one can go so long without more mishaps, more specifically, that I, a person who just rubbed zit cream on an abrasion thinking it was Neosporin, went that long without mishaps. And to think this could have been resolved in the span of ONE day.

So what have I learned from the whole experience?

Avoidance is a perfectly acceptable solution so long as it's infallible and permanent.

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