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Tuesday, May 18, 2004 · posted at 6:46 PM

Trojan Man - only 97% effective. I saw the movie Troy last night. Troy is the harbinger of the 2004 summer movie season and highly anticipated due to its star power (Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana and his ears, and Peter O’Toole), titanic and Titanic budget (initially budgeted at $150 million but due to an Achilles injury, re-creation of an ancient city, and emergency relocations escalated to $200 million), and classic storyline (based on Homer’s The Iliad). Wolfgang Petersen turns a 9 year war into a 14 day battle (163 minutes running time) for which Rotten Tomatoes gives a 53%.

Top 5 Reasons to See Troy:

Brad Pitt’s nude scenes.

Orlando Bloom is gorgeous.

Brad Pitt is hot.

The movie cost $200 million – it can use as many moviegoers as possible.

Everyone else is doing it, and if peer pressure isn't a valid reason, I don't know what is.

Top 5 Reasons NOT to See Troy:

Brad Pitt’s nude scenes are less risqué than your average NYPD Blue episode.

Helen (Diane Kruger) reminds me of Leelee Sobrieski. The idea was that she would be more stunning as the sole blonde haired, blue eyed woman in the film... but Brad’s (I’m on a first name basis with him) blonde haired, blue eyed Achilles put her to shame as his was truly a face to launch a thousand hand-held, battery operated, motorized...ummm ships.

Hector and Andromache’s son Scamandrius/Astynax is a huge baby with a seemingly disproportionate head. I thought he was going to throw down his baby blanket and get up and fight at a few points in the movie. I couldn’t help but recall Seinfeld #85, The Hamptons, with the “breathtaking baby.”

The special effects – “Las Vegas” camera stops, The Matrix mid-leap pauses, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon sword noises – didn’t seem consistent with a Greek epic movie.

Orlando Bloom’s Prince Paris. In an interview, Orly discussed how he had a big moral struggle with playing the prince. “It’s an intimidating thing, to make an audience understand what you’re doing – so they don’t completely loathe you.” At first I scoffed. Then I watched the movie. And though I have been reminded over and over that OB is simply an actor playing a character, I can’t get the image of a desperately terrified Bloom clinging to Bana’s leg out of my head and a little bit of my love for Orlando Bloom died after watching the movie.



	Tuesday, May 18, 2004 · posted at 6:46 PM Trojan Man - only 97% effective. I saw the movie Troy last night. Troy is the harbinger of the 2004 summer movie season and highly anticipated due to its star power (Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana and his ears, and Peter O’Toole), titanic and Titanic budget (initially budgeted at $150 million but due to an Achilles injury, re-creation of an ancient city, and emergency relocations escalated to $200 million), and classic storyline (based on Homer’s The Iliad). Wolfgang Petersen turns a 9 year war into a 14 day battle (163 minutes running time) for which Rotten Tomatoes gives a 53%. Top 5 Reasons to See Troy: Brad Pitt’s nude scenes. Orlando Bloom is gorgeous. Brad Pitt is hot. The movie cost $200 million – it can use as many moviegoers as possible. Everyone else is doing it, and if peer pressure isn't a valid reason, I don't know what is. Top 5 Reasons NOT to See Troy: Brad Pitt’s nude scenes are less risqué than your average NYPD Blue episode. Helen (Diane Kruger) reminds me of Leelee Sobrieski. The idea was that she would be more stunning as the sole blonde haired, blue eyed woman in the film... but Brad’s (I’m on a first name basis with him) blonde haired, blue eyed Achilles put her to shame as his was truly a face to launch a thousand hand-held, battery operated, motorized...ummm ships. Hector and Andromache’s son Scamandrius/Astynax is a huge baby with a seemingly disproportionate head. I thought he was going to throw down his baby blanket and get up and fight at a few points in the movie. I couldn’t help but recall Seinfeld #85, The Hamptons, with the “breathtaking baby.” The special effects – “Las Vegas” camera stops, The Matrix mid-leap pauses, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon sword noises – didn’t seem consistent with a Greek epic movie. Orlando Bloom’s Prince Paris. In an interview, Orly discussed how he had a big moral struggle with playing the prince. “It’s an intimidating thing, to make an audience understand what you’re doing – so they don’t completely loathe you.” At first I scoffed. Then I watched the movie. And though I have been reminded over and over that OB is simply an actor playing a character, I can’t get the image of a desperately terrified Bloom clinging to Bana’s leg out of my head and a little bit of my love for Orlando Bloom died after watching the movie.	Recent Posts I had such high hopes for this blog. But the more... Syd Hoff, the creator of classics like Danny the D... Warning: The following blog is extremely me, me, m... "Please tell me that sound was a rip in the space-... On my search through our Measures drawer for the B... In your dorm you meet many nice people. Some are ... Aqua creatures. It’s amazing how kids have no conc... Canonical. I had plans to blog at work. I wrote ... A blogger was featured on the front cover of a loc... The next generation of Ortho Tri-cyclen. My job c... Morning news babie goose ryan bluemouse daves son dawntaught desiree diorama emily escadawg galveric high entropy invisible cube jepgato kyellow lilly mhuang mogbert nudream starfish + coffee verbivore Archives March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 November 2008

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