Saturday, August 06, 2005 · posted at 12:02 AM
emmanuel lewis
Salesgirl (at a clothing store at the mall): Oh so are you back-to-school shopping?
Me: You could say that.
Salesgirl: What grade are you going to be in?
Me: ...

Cashier: Oh my god, you look so young for your age.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Cashier: I mean, like, I am so much younger than you, but like... I totally look older than you.
Me: ...
Two thoughts crossed my mind at this point:

(1) I know I was just calling my sister in a hysterical fit after getting called "Ma'am" three times at Best Buy, but is this really any better?

(2) Had I become one of those old women I make fun of for shopping at Forever 21 in a thinly veiled attempt to remain "forever 21"? Holding chandelier earrings up to my crows' feet adled face? Squeezing way too big thighs into way too small booty pants? Ostentatiously displaying orange fake and baked breasts (probably fully functional ones, at that) in a daring décolleté?

Okay so that last fear of showing too much cleavage will never happen (you can't flaunt what you've not got), but had I slipped into that shameful class of females who should clearly be shopping in the "Misses" section rather than the "Juniors"? Do my youthful Asian genes give me a free pass to indulge in WB dramas, young adult fiction, delias*com, moody angst and other quintessential teenage acts?

Probably not, but hey, when pockmarked high schoolers stop subjecting me to the nuissance of busting out my ID at R-rated movies is when I'll stop competing with them for that last tube of bubble gum lip gloss.

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