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Saturday, July 10, 2004 · posted at 10:24 PM

Can’t I hold the boom mic? Karen's old roommmate made her tv debut on MTV's Your Face or Mine (yes, the same show that unsuccessfully recruited Mr. Lollipop). Afterward, there was much discussion about what the camera, likely equipped with a wide angle lens, does to a person aside from the notorious 10 pound gain.

Now Karen’s old roommate is a good-looking girl - a model/actress and ex-Abercrombie & Fitch employee.

But the audience was not kind (the premise of the show is for the "hot" contestants to guess who the audience thinks is hotter - with matchups such as John Stamos vs. Ethan Hawke. Uncle Jesse won by a landslide)- and neither was the camera.

Observations included:
1. She did this weird pursing of her mouth.
2. There was inadequate glossing of the lips (see above).
3. The shirt was not the most flattering in the midriff section.

Conclusion? "Man, if she looks like that on camera, normal people like us must look like trolls."

Flash Forward a few days.

Karen's writer/director/producer friend Justin (of "Justin and the gorgeous curly hair that's like touching a little piece of heaven") is shooting the party scene of the movie in the LBC. Enter extras: family, friends, friends of friends who were just hoping to watch (that's me!), and locals in the search for free booze.

Dress code? "O.C. frat party." Paul Frank tees a la Adam Brody? Uggs and a ruffled mini? Please, like I'm really going to deviate from the t-shirt and jeans attire.

We arrived 2 hours late after waiting for my indecisive ass to drive from SD, Kat's change of clothes from her planets and rockets "cast member" uniform, and MapQuest's erroneous "slight right" directions.

Sigh of relief when surveying the location and equipment. While there were heavy, expensive lights and cameras, there was not a green screen in sight. I didn’t want to go down the way Karen’s cousin did - literally.

Also, we got there just in time to miss most of the outdoor drunken party footage (score!). So while everyone but us "three girls" were filming outside, we got to chat with the director's mom, eat tacos, and listen to the blacklisted "actors" who were kicked off the set for 1.) being drunk instead of acting drunk, and 2.) being loud instead of pretending to be loud and doing a Britney Spears. I can see how Hollywood is a very mixed-up business indeed.

I watched a guy and a girl on the outskirts of the crowd. They talked for a minute, did the arm-brush "that's too funny" laugh, walked toward the door, paused on the patio and the girl started rubbing her eye, the guy looks at her eye, and then they enter the house. I was amazed. Wow, this couple even had their own little quirks for their characters. They knew what their motivation was. Then the girl made a beeline for the bathroom, away from the cameras. Oh wait, that's not acting. No wonder it looked so real.

These are the instructions for being an extra: Do what you would do at a party. Umm, I dunno, stare at a punch bowl? It's so weird when you know there's a camera and it could potentially catch you, like, adjusting your bra or chewing on your lip or doing something equally unattractive that will be Memorexed forever.

Us Three Girls got to be in one "establishing shot" outside. What's an establishing shot? When the Director of Photography pairs you up with a gay guy you just met and you have to be engrossed in whatever he's lipsyncing. Or that's how I understood it anyway. Karen got paired with this guy who was Chauncey height. Get that girl an apple box!

Some of these movements were so calculated. Kat's "guy" grabbed her arm and made a complete circuit around the yard. I kept expecting a caller to shout out "do-si-do," "promenade your partner." Apparently it's neither of those - it's a "swipe."

I'm just glad we missed the tequila shot scene, which was executed sans shot glasses, substituting a lemon for lime wedge, and using a massive salt mill.

Instead, Justin wanted to use us in the hallway scene. What’s our motivation? “You’re in line for the bathroom, the guy in there is taking forever and you’re really, really annoyed. Can you look annoyed?”

Honey, annoyed and complaining is who we are.

Also the whole needing to go to the bathroom? Partially true. After hearing how one of the dogs (there were three very poignant dogs in the house who were always underfoot and barking at inopportune times) followed Karen into the bathroom and expected her to do her business as the dog looked on, I made the conscious decision to hold it for the duration of the night.

Time for the big spotlight scene and the camera is seriously a foot away from our faces. All I could think about was how I was in desperate need of oil blotting paper and how my chin looked like the “Before” picture of a Proactiv commercial, because when I looked into the camera’s viewfinder, I could see an incredible close-up of Kat’s forehead.

Looking around it was fairly easy to determine the actors from the fillers. The actors got really into it. Example, when instructed to ad lib, this girl started spouting off “Did anyone see him go in there? Oh my god, did he go in there with someone?” with a perfectly executed wide-eyed wonder.

The fillers on the other hand, were those who frequently had to be instructed to “sigh louder,” “grumble more,” and “stop looking at the floor.”

When we originally read the script, I’ll admit I had some doubts. On paper some of the lines seemed cheesy, and when we read the dialogue aloud it made it even worse. But maybe we didn’t do it justice because we’re not professionals.

Justin, however, is brilliant. He totally looked preoccupied and upset. I wanted to just reach out, hug him (and fondle his hair) and tell him it’d be all right.

I’m so excited to see the rest of it play out now although I have no desire to see myself on the camera... the pan across my "trying to look annoyed but probably coming off as constipated" face as Justin brushes past my too wide hips. Ugh.

I think I might hit 3 out of 3 of the “Your Face or Mine” observations and definitely prove the “troll hypothesis,” but hey at least I’ll show the world that not only pretty people can be in movies – ugly people can play 5 second extras in labor of love self-financed films.

So I’m officially an extra (will work for chicken tacos) and can add a film credit to my resume. Hollywood here I come? Umm not likely, but just in case, I’ve prepared my autograph already:

XOXO, Girl in Bathroom Line #3
____________________

For additional "Conrad Boys" coverage, visit: www.kyellow.blogspot.com. Look for more news at the end of July 2004.



	Saturday, July 10, 2004 · posted at 10:24 PM Can’t I hold the boom mic? Karen's old roommmate made her tv debut on MTV's Your Face or Mine (yes, the same show that unsuccessfully recruited Mr. Lollipop). Afterward, there was much discussion about what the camera, likely equipped with a wide angle lens, does to a person aside from the notorious 10 pound gain. Now Karen’s old roommate is a good-looking girl - a model/actress and ex-Abercrombie & Fitch employee. But the audience was not kind (the premise of the show is for the "hot" contestants to guess who the audience thinks is hotter - with matchups such as John Stamos vs. Ethan Hawke. Uncle Jesse won by a landslide)- and neither was the camera. Observations included: 1. She did this weird pursing of her mouth. 2. There was inadequate glossing of the lips (see above). 3. The shirt was not the most flattering in the midriff section. Conclusion? "Man, if she looks like that on camera, normal people like us must look like trolls." Flash Forward a few days. Karen's writer/director/producer friend Justin (of "Justin and the gorgeous curly hair that's like touching a little piece of heaven") is shooting the party scene of the movie in the LBC. Enter extras: family, friends, friends of friends who were just hoping to watch (that's me!), and locals in the search for free booze. Dress code? "O.C. frat party." Paul Frank tees a la Adam Brody? Uggs and a ruffled mini? Please, like I'm really going to deviate from the t-shirt and jeans attire. We arrived 2 hours late after waiting for my indecisive ass to drive from SD, Kat's change of clothes from her planets and rockets "cast member" uniform, and MapQuest's erroneous "slight right" directions. Sigh of relief when surveying the location and equipment. While there were heavy, expensive lights and cameras, there was not a green screen in sight. I didn’t want to go down the way Karen’s cousin did - literally. Also, we got there just in time to miss most of the outdoor drunken party footage (score!). So while everyone but us "three girls" were filming outside, we got to chat with the director's mom, eat tacos, and listen to the blacklisted "actors" who were kicked off the set for 1.) being drunk instead of acting drunk, and 2.) being loud instead of pretending to be loud and doing a Britney Spears. I can see how Hollywood is a very mixed-up business indeed. I watched a guy and a girl on the outskirts of the crowd. They talked for a minute, did the arm-brush "that's too funny" laugh, walked toward the door, paused on the patio and the girl started rubbing her eye, the guy looks at her eye, and then they enter the house. I was amazed. Wow, this couple even had their own little quirks for their characters. They knew what their motivation was. Then the girl made a beeline for the bathroom, away from the cameras. Oh wait, that's not acting. No wonder it looked so real. These are the instructions for being an extra: Do what you would do at a party. Umm, I dunno, stare at a punch bowl? It's so weird when you know there's a camera and it could potentially catch you, like, adjusting your bra or chewing on your lip or doing something equally unattractive that will be Memorexed forever. Us Three Girls got to be in one "establishing shot" outside. What's an establishing shot? When the Director of Photography pairs you up with a gay guy you just met and you have to be engrossed in whatever he's lipsyncing. Or that's how I understood it anyway. Karen got paired with this guy who was Chauncey height. Get that girl an apple box! Some of these movements were so calculated. Kat's "guy" grabbed her arm and made a complete circuit around the yard. I kept expecting a caller to shout out "do-si-do," "promenade your partner." Apparently it's neither of those - it's a "swipe." I'm just glad we missed the tequila shot scene, which was executed sans shot glasses, substituting a lemon for lime wedge, and using a massive salt mill. Instead, Justin wanted to use us in the hallway scene. What’s our motivation? “You’re in line for the bathroom, the guy in there is taking forever and you’re really, really annoyed. Can you look annoyed?” Honey, annoyed and complaining is who we are. Also the whole needing to go to the bathroom? Partially true. After hearing how one of the dogs (there were three very poignant dogs in the house who were always underfoot and barking at inopportune times) followed Karen into the bathroom and expected her to do her business as the dog looked on, I made the conscious decision to hold it for the duration of the night. Time for the big spotlight scene and the camera is seriously a foot away from our faces. All I could think about was how I was in desperate need of oil blotting paper and how my chin looked like the “Before” picture of a Proactiv commercial, because when I looked into the camera’s viewfinder, I could see an incredible close-up of Kat’s forehead. Looking around it was fairly easy to determine the actors from the fillers. The actors got really into it. Example, when instructed to ad lib, this girl started spouting off “Did anyone see him go in there? Oh my god, did he go in there with someone?” with a perfectly executed wide-eyed wonder. The fillers on the other hand, were those who frequently had to be instructed to “sigh louder,” “grumble more,” and “stop looking at the floor.” When we originally read the script, I’ll admit I had some doubts. On paper some of the lines seemed cheesy, and when we read the dialogue aloud it made it even worse. But maybe we didn’t do it justice because we’re not professionals. Justin, however, is brilliant. He totally looked preoccupied and upset. I wanted to just reach out, hug him (and fondle his hair) and tell him it’d be all right. I’m so excited to see the rest of it play out now although I have no desire to see myself on the camera... the pan across my "trying to look annoyed but probably coming off as constipated" face as Justin brushes past my too wide hips. Ugh. I think I might hit 3 out of 3 of the “Your Face or Mine” observations and definitely prove the “troll hypothesis,” but hey at least I’ll show the world that not only pretty people can be in movies – ugly people can play 5 second extras in labor of love self-financed films. So I’m officially an extra (will work for chicken tacos) and can add a film credit to my resume. Hollywood here I come? Umm not likely, but just in case, I’ve prepared my autograph already: XOXO, Girl in Bathroom Line #3 ____________________ For additional "Conrad Boys" coverage, visit: www.kyellow.blogspot.com. 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