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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 · posted at 1:36 AM

Now I know my A-B-C's... Too bad it's your 1-2-3's that will help you in the Big Brother 6 House...

I love watching Big Brother. It's quickly become a summer pasttime, even though I still can't quite get the schedule down right (Tues 9, Thurs 8, Sat 8 -- why don't they always make it at 8 o'clock?!). Sure there are more interesting reality shows out there, shows that really test a person's character, grit, and intelligence... but what entertains me is tuning in each week to find out how the contestants have messed things up for themselves.

Seriously.

At the start of the game, you have 14 people living in a house together. Each week one "houseguest" will be voted out by the rest of the houseguests until there is one $500k winner left. Survivor meets Real World. The difference? Unlike Real World, houseguests are trapped within the grounds of the house without any contact to the outside world with the exception of the occasional Charlie-like voice booming through the intercom telling feuding houseguests to separate to different sides of the house and Julie Chen's glittered weekly appearance via the tv. And unlike Survivor, houseguests compete in unchallenging (mentally, physically, and intellectually) competitions such as whose painted garden gnome can withstand a vertical drop and how much liquid one can squeeze out of sponge pants. Also unlike Survivor, they are given all the elements for survival - shelter, water, and food (albeit PB&J at times).

So really, the only thing players of Big Brother have to do is strategize about how to win the money... Which begs the question, what the hell have the BB6 houseguests been doing for the past two weeks? Because it sure as hell hasn't been hatching out any kind of successful game plan.

Each week there is a competition for the coveted Head of Household (HoH) position. The HoH is responsible for putting 2 houseguests "on the block" (nominating two houseguests for eviction from the house). The HoH and 2 nominated houseguests each pick 1 person to compete for the Power of Veto (PoV). The person who wins PoV can choose to take 1 person off the block, thus "saving" them from eviction that week. If that happens, the HoH then picks another houseguest to be up for eviction. At week's end, houseguests (with the exception of the HoH nor nominated houseguests) vote to evict 1 of the 2 nominees.

Pretty simple, no?

So basically you're playing a numbers game. You figure out who will vote for whom and plan your strategies around that. Usually complications arise from being unsure of loyalties and alliances. However, in this "season of secrets" (each houseguest has a partner they know from outside the house), with people being completely conspicuous about their teammates and people revealing all their cards (Kaysar, no!)... that's not the problem.

The problem is that of simple arithmetic.

Let's start with Maggie, Week 5 HoH, who nominated Kaysar, the person she felt responsible for Eric's eviction the previous week. Maggie solely blamed Kaysar for her beloved Captain's 5-4 dismissal. However, Kaysar was HoH and thus unable to vote. That means there were 5 people who wanted Eric out of the house... 5 people gunning for her and Eric... 5 people... yet she blames the one (the hot one, at that) and thinks that since Kaysar is gone, it's smooth sailing from here on out.

Actually she might not be wrong about that last part because once Kaysar left, his entire team fell apart without him:

Week 6
"The Friendship" consists of 5 people: Maggie, Yvette, Beau, April, Jenn
"Kaysar's Kingdom" consists of 5 people: Howie, Rachel, James, Sarah, Janelle

It is revealed that in Week 7, either Michael, Eric, or Kaysar will return to the BB6 house based on viewer choice (a ploy I think CBS needed to launch once the only smart player was evicted). Howie wins HoH and proceeds to, in the time period of 2 hours, screw himself and his teammates over by striking a deal with Maggie to get the dating couple James/Sarah out of the house, thus making him and Rachel safe in the event that Eric returns.

Mathematical error #1: There are 3 players up for re-entry: Michael, Eric, Kaysar. If Michael or Kaysar come back, that's 1 more member of the Kaysar alliance. Michael OR Kaysar. That means 2:1 odds that your team will be even more powerful next week. So maybe Howie is thinking that Michael wasn't the most likeable fellow, maybe America won't vote him back. Now there's even odds that someone will be coming back to help your side.

So what's the most logical thing to do? Prepare for either possibility by getting rid of 1 member from the other side. If Eric comes back, now you're even (5-5). If Kaysar comes back, now you're up 2 (4-6).

Mathematical error #2: Howie puts James/Sarah on the nomination block, not as pawns to get Maggie out (see Nakomis' six-finger plan) but because he wants to get James/Sarah out, effectively dividing Kaysar's alliance into 2 groups: James/Sarah and Howie/Rachel/Janelle.

Let's recap.

The Friendship: 5
The Lovers: 2
The Tweedledumbers: 3

Now numerically it doesn't even matter who comes back into the house on Thursday... If either sect of Kaysar's alliance wants control of the house, they need to win HoH and PoV in Week 7.

Mathematical error #3: The Power of Veto competition is a "Price is Right" type contest where the winner is the one who gets the "closest without going over" number of candies in his/her piñata. The magic number is 20. There are 6 competitors. Each competitor gets 10 candies. 4 of those competitors don't care who gets PoV as long as it's not James. That's potentially 40 candies in James' bank. Instead, they divvy up their candies "2 here," "4 here," "I'll just give everyone the same amount." Strategies that result in 18 candies in James' piñata, making him the PoV winner. Incredible.

I wonder if it's a new rule of CBS' to not cast anyone who has watched past seasons of Big Brother where they've done similar competitions and been unsuccessful in "ousting" players because they always win Power of Veto... Actually... you don't even need to have seen past seasons... you just need an ounce of common sense and logic. Not two, not three, seriously... just one.

Sigh. Revive the King. Save the Kingdom... PLEASE.



	Wednesday, August 10, 2005 · posted at 1:36 AM Now I know my A-B-C's... Too bad it's your 1-2-3's that will help you in the Big Brother 6 House... I love watching Big Brother. It's quickly become a summer pasttime, even though I still can't quite get the schedule down right (Tues 9, Thurs 8, Sat 8 -- why don't they always make it at 8 o'clock?!). Sure there are more interesting reality shows out there, shows that really test a person's character, grit, and intelligence... but what entertains me is tuning in each week to find out how the contestants have messed things up for themselves. Seriously. At the start of the game, you have 14 people living in a house together. Each week one "houseguest" will be voted out by the rest of the houseguests until there is one $500k winner left. Survivor meets Real World. The difference? Unlike Real World, houseguests are trapped within the grounds of the house without any contact to the outside world with the exception of the occasional Charlie-like voice booming through the intercom telling feuding houseguests to separate to different sides of the house and Julie Chen's glittered weekly appearance via the tv. And unlike Survivor, houseguests compete in unchallenging (mentally, physically, and intellectually) competitions such as whose painted garden gnome can withstand a vertical drop and how much liquid one can squeeze out of sponge pants. Also unlike Survivor, they are given all the elements for survival - shelter, water, and food (albeit PB&J at times). So really, the only thing players of Big Brother have to do is strategize about how to win the money... Which begs the question, what the hell have the BB6 houseguests been doing for the past two weeks? Because it sure as hell hasn't been hatching out any kind of successful game plan. Each week there is a competition for the coveted Head of Household (HoH) position. The HoH is responsible for putting 2 houseguests "on the block" (nominating two houseguests for eviction from the house). The HoH and 2 nominated houseguests each pick 1 person to compete for the Power of Veto (PoV). The person who wins PoV can choose to take 1 person off the block, thus "saving" them from eviction that week. If that happens, the HoH then picks another houseguest to be up for eviction. At week's end, houseguests (with the exception of the HoH nor nominated houseguests) vote to evict 1 of the 2 nominees. Pretty simple, no? So basically you're playing a numbers game. You figure out who will vote for whom and plan your strategies around that. Usually complications arise from being unsure of loyalties and alliances. However, in this "season of secrets" (each houseguest has a partner they know from outside the house), with people being completely conspicuous about their teammates and people revealing all their cards (Kaysar, no!)... that's not the problem. The problem is that of simple arithmetic. Let's start with Maggie, Week 5 HoH, who nominated Kaysar, the person she felt responsible for Eric's eviction the previous week. Maggie solely blamed Kaysar for her beloved Captain's 5-4 dismissal. However, Kaysar was HoH and thus unable to vote. That means there were 5 people who wanted Eric out of the house... 5 people gunning for her and Eric... 5 people... yet she blames the one (the hot one, at that) and thinks that since Kaysar is gone, it's smooth sailing from here on out. Actually she might not be wrong about that last part because once Kaysar left, his entire team fell apart without him: Week 6 "The Friendship" consists of 5 people: Maggie, Yvette, Beau, April, Jenn "Kaysar's Kingdom" consists of 5 people: Howie, Rachel, James, Sarah, Janelle It is revealed that in Week 7, either Michael, Eric, or Kaysar will return to the BB6 house based on viewer choice (a ploy I think CBS needed to launch once the only smart player was evicted). Howie wins HoH and proceeds to, in the time period of 2 hours, screw himself and his teammates over by striking a deal with Maggie to get the dating couple James/Sarah out of the house, thus making him and Rachel safe in the event that Eric returns. Mathematical error #1: There are 3 players up for re-entry: Michael, Eric, Kaysar. If Michael or Kaysar come back, that's 1 more member of the Kaysar alliance. Michael OR Kaysar. That means 2:1 odds that your team will be even more powerful next week. So maybe Howie is thinking that Michael wasn't the most likeable fellow, maybe America won't vote him back. Now there's even odds that someone will be coming back to help your side. So what's the most logical thing to do? Prepare for either possibility by getting rid of 1 member from the other side. If Eric comes back, now you're even (5-5). If Kaysar comes back, now you're up 2 (4-6). Mathematical error #2: Howie puts James/Sarah on the nomination block, not as pawns to get Maggie out (see Nakomis' six-finger plan) but because he wants to get James/Sarah out, effectively dividing Kaysar's alliance into 2 groups: James/Sarah and Howie/Rachel/Janelle. Let's recap. The Friendship: 5 The Lovers: 2 The Tweedledumbers: 3 Now numerically it doesn't even matter who comes back into the house on Thursday... If either sect of Kaysar's alliance wants control of the house, they need to win HoH and PoV in Week 7. Mathematical error #3: The Power of Veto competition is a "Price is Right" type contest where the winner is the one who gets the "closest without going over" number of candies in his/her piñata. The magic number is 20. There are 6 competitors. Each competitor gets 10 candies. 4 of those competitors don't care who gets PoV as long as it's not James. That's potentially 40 candies in James' bank. Instead, they divvy up their candies "2 here," "4 here," "I'll just give everyone the same amount." Strategies that result in 18 candies in James' piñata, making him the PoV winner. Incredible. I wonder if it's a new rule of CBS' to not cast anyone who has watched past seasons of Big Brother where they've done similar competitions and been unsuccessful in "ousting" players because they always win Power of Veto... Actually... you don't even need to have seen past seasons... you just need an ounce of common sense and logic. Not two, not three, seriously... just one. Sigh. Revive the King. 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