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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 · posted at 1:32 AM

sh*t or get off the pot. Heather Graham's new sitcom Emily's Reasons Why Not premiered tonight to a smattering of chuckles and a whole bunch of groans. My relationship with Heather Graham has always been tumultuous - leaning towards hate in roles such as Rollergirl, Felicity Shagwell, Heath Ledger's girlfriend... then rocketing to love in her guest role as a loopy shrink on Scrubs. But after watching the pilot for this new show, my opinion is firmly planted on the hate side again.

The show, flawed by poor acting, bad jokes and stereotypical roles, actually has an interesting premise:

Emily's Reasons Why Not explores the world of Emily Sanders, a successful career woman who has terrific instincts in every arena of her life but one -- relationships... Determined now to make better choices, Emily employs a "Reasons Why Not" list-making system designed to serve as an internal warning on when it's time to cut bait and move on.

It's actually a pretty generous system - suitors are allowed 5 red flags before getting chucked. For those who are mathematically challenged, that's a whole two more than allowed in the 3 strikes policy and a fivefold increase from the auto-fail policy.

auto-fail
n., also v.

Any attitude, behavior, characteristic, or trait that results in immediate repulsion and degradation of status. Usually used in the context of dating and romantic relationships, but can be used in other judgmental context. Also know as "game over" or "fatal flaw."

Origin: from the DMV term "automatic failure" - a driving maneuver that, when executed during the behind-the-wheel exam, results in immediate termination of the exam.

Examples: I auto-failed him for not recycling. My auto-fails are eye crispies and owning Gigli.

Everyone's had the auto-fail discussion with friends, or even replayed with harrowing details the exposure of an auto-fail ("We were watching the movie and he was breathing so loudly it felt like I was sitting next to Darth Vader! I could almost hear the nose hairs rustling against each other"). In fact, the "auto-fail" conversation is almost guaranteed, pre-packaged fun (like Catchphrase!), unless of course the mob says nay to back hair and unfortunate genetics have left you with a dorsal side reminiscent of Sasquatch.

So how can a show about auto-fails, or toned down semi-fails anyway, be such a comedic disaster?

In the quest for mass public appeal, they've watered down the "reasons why not" to be generic "might not be the right person" (e.g. he's gay, he's your gynecologist) instead of "might not be the right person for you." We all have our list of ideal and not-so-ideal qualities, whether it's a hatred of toe socks or a disdain for toe sock haters, but it's our quirky personal preferences that make auto-fails laughable.

To get the audience entertained and invested, Emily needs to take a lesson from Chandler. Obsessive, deprecating and idiosyncratic? Sure. Funny? Always.



	Wednesday, January 11, 2006 · posted at 1:32 AM *sht or get off the pot.** Heather Graham's new sitcom Emily's Reasons Why Not premiered tonight to a smattering of chuckles and a whole bunch of groans. My relationship with Heather Graham has always been tumultuous - leaning towards hate in roles such as Rollergirl, Felicity Shagwell, Heath Ledger's girlfriend... then rocketing to love in her guest role as a loopy shrink on Scrubs. But after watching the pilot for this new show, my opinion is firmly planted on the hate side again. The show, flawed by poor acting, bad jokes and stereotypical roles, actually has an interesting premise: Emily's Reasons Why Not explores the world of Emily Sanders, a successful career woman who has terrific instincts in every arena of her life but one -- relationships... Determined now to make better choices, Emily employs a "Reasons Why Not" list-making system designed to serve as an internal warning on when it's time to cut bait and move on. It's actually a pretty generous system - suitors are allowed 5 red flags before getting chucked. For those who are mathematically challenged, that's a whole two more than allowed in the 3 strikes policy and a fivefold increase from the auto-fail policy. auto-fail n., also v. Any attitude, behavior, characteristic, or trait that results in immediate repulsion and degradation of status. Usually used in the context of dating and romantic relationships, but can be used in other judgmental context. Also know as "game over" or "fatal flaw." Origin: from the DMV term "automatic failure" - a driving maneuver that, when executed during the behind-the-wheel exam, results in immediate termination of the exam. Examples: I auto-failed him for not recycling. My auto-fails are eye crispies and owning Gigli. Everyone's had the auto-fail discussion with friends, or even replayed with harrowing details the exposure of an auto-fail ("We were watching the movie and he was breathing so loudly it felt like I was sitting next to Darth Vader! I could almost hear the nose hairs rustling against each other"). In fact, the "auto-fail" conversation is almost guaranteed, pre-packaged fun (like Catchphrase!), unless of course the mob says nay to back hair and unfortunate genetics have left you with a dorsal side reminiscent of Sasquatch. So how can a show about auto-fails, or toned down semi-fails anyway, be such a comedic disaster? In the quest for mass public appeal, they've watered down the "reasons why not" to be generic "might not be the right person" (e.g. he's gay, he's your gynecologist) instead of "might not be the right person for you." We all have our list of ideal and not-so-ideal qualities, whether it's a hatred of toe socks or a disdain for toe sock haters, but it's our quirky personal preferences that make auto-fails laughable. To get the audience entertained and invested, Emily needs to take a lesson from Chandler. Obsessive, deprecating and idiosyncratic? Sure. Funny? Always.	Recent Posts Nursery Tales. I've read The Nanny Diaries, thumbe... And then? No, no 'and then'! I'm always surprise... A GPS for all time. In Movies and the Meaning of ... I'm ideologically promiscuous. ~Louis, "Mu... Ply Wars: Why is 2-ply paper softer than 1-ply?Whe... Walden dreams, part II. I was at the public librar... Walden dreams. People bug me some time. Everyone ... There must be some Toros in the atmosphere. My fir... Happy Tofurkey Day I spent my first Thanksgiving ... Batty Koda: Are you sure?Zak: Positive!Batty: Onl... Morning news babie goose ryan bluemouse daves son dawntaught desiree diorama emily escadawg galveric high entropy invisible cube jepgato kyellow lilly mhuang mogbert nudream starfish + coffee verbivore Archives March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 November 2008

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