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Saturday, April 10, 2004 · posted at 1:02 PM

On animals, men, and evolution.

“and nowhere in the animal kingdom does the "little guy" ever win out. females don't pick out the little squirty male lion just because he's "nice and has personality." they want a kick ass mane and an effective, yet freshly minty, roar.”
-anachronic

Actually, according to the handicap hypothesis, the "little guy" does win out sometimes. This hypothesis maintains that females are attracted to glaring abnormalities because there is a belief that to have survived for so long with such a handicap (such as bright plumage or extraordinarily long and nonfunctional tail feathers) that organism must have superior genes that allow it to survive, even with that increased risk (think running faster or being smarter in order to outlast the predator) . I think there are even birds that pick mates with parasites because the idea that they have superior anti-parasite DNA that will enable their progeny to live longer and be more successful.

There also exists the "sexy son hypothesis" which says that females choose traits they know are attractive to other females, thus trying to make their son "sexy" to others as well.

What does this all mean? There exists hope. Ladies, fellas, look at your most hated attribute: beer gut, thinning hair, too much hair, height, weight, beak of a nose, flat chest, oversized rack, anything and everything… and tell yourself that you are the product of years of evolution, you are primed by the “handicap hypothesis,” and that your survival today is due to compensation of all your other extraordinary attributes (even be it coping skills to deal with beer gut, thinning hair, too much hair, height, weight, beak of a nose, flat chest, oversized rack, anything and everything…).

And guys? Look at your mom, look at your dad... your mom thought that your dad’s genes would contribute to your reproductive success. Hey, Mother’s Day is coming up... and she did it all for you, son.



	Saturday, April 10, 2004 · posted at 1:02 PM On animals, men, and evolution. “and nowhere in the animal kingdom does the "little guy" ever win out. females don't pick out the little squirty male lion just because he's "nice and has personality." they want a kick ass mane and an effective, yet freshly minty, roar.” -anachronic Actually, according to the handicap hypothesis, the "little guy" does win out sometimes. This hypothesis maintains that females are attracted to glaring abnormalities because there is a belief that to have survived for so long with such a handicap (such as bright plumage or extraordinarily long and nonfunctional tail feathers) that organism must have superior genes that allow it to survive, even with that increased risk (think running faster or being smarter in order to outlast the predator) . I think there are even birds that pick mates with parasites because the idea that they have superior anti-parasite DNA that will enable their progeny to live longer and be more successful. There also exists the "sexy son hypothesis" which says that females choose traits they know are attractive to other females, thus trying to make their son "sexy" to others as well. What does this all mean? There exists hope. Ladies, fellas, look at your most hated attribute: beer gut, thinning hair, too much hair, height, weight, beak of a nose, flat chest, oversized rack, anything and everything… and tell yourself that you are the product of years of evolution, you are primed by the “handicap hypothesis,” and that your survival today is due to compensation of all your other extraordinary attributes (even be it coping skills to deal with beer gut, thinning hair, too much hair, height, weight, beak of a nose, flat chest, oversized rack, anything and everything…). And guys? Look at your mom, look at your dad... your mom thought that your dad’s genes would contribute to your reproductive success. Hey, Mother’s Day is coming up... and she did it all for you, son.	Recent Posts I’ll stop the world and melt for you. I went home ... Workers Against Milking Mothers (WAMM) I’m all for... Clash of the titans. Batman versus Spiderman… who... The wave stops here. On Thursday I got to see the... Ramblings inspired by Rolling Stone magazine #944.... Welcome to five years ago. Categorization is grea... Public spaces as a dumping ground. I vehemently o... In typical banshee fashion, I spaced on my origina... I just finished my online traffic school (www.traf... Morning news babie goose ryan bluemouse daves son dawntaught desiree diorama emily escadawg galveric high entropy invisible cube jepgato kyellow lilly mhuang mogbert nudream starfish + coffee verbivore Archives March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 November 2008

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