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Friday, July 16, 2004 · posted at 7:37 AM

Excuse me, but my Rorschach blot has wrinkles.

Have you ever noticed that some years have themes predominantly running through them? Not so much a general Chinese zodiac “Year of the Monkey” thing, but more personalized such as 2003 was the “Year of Bad Hair” or 2001 was the “Year of Bad Dates” followed by 2002’s “Year of the Dry Spell.”

2004 is shaping up to be “Year of Feeling Old.”

At first, I thought I was safe. Tv and pop culture are anti-aging serums and I consume both on a regular basis. I watch Gilmore Girls and fast forward through scenes with the mother because I don’t relate. I have a job and though I’ve given in to the financial practicalities of bringing my lunch rather than buying, I choose to brownbag or plastic bag it rather than endorse the insulated coolers that are recommended by 4 out of 5 Soccer Moms.

I had my 23rd birthday this year, which is not a scary landmark birthday at all. Except that Jessica Simpson said, “23 is old. It’s like almost 25, which is like, almost mid twenties” – and you know Jessica is never wrong with her pearls of wisdom.

Slowly but surely the signs started popping up.

One of the kids I work with asked me if I had any kids who collect Digimon cards. I still get carded at rated-R movies... do I really look old enough to have kids, much less ones with the cognitive ability to strategize and calculate attack points?!

Marc Sommers, host of Double Dare and king of sliming, now hosts “Food Unwrapped.” MacGyver is on TVLand, the 24/7 Nick at Nite channel (Family Ties is also on Nick at Nite, but the transition was much more subtle). Times they are a changing.

I opened up Us Weekly and they had a spread on celebrity birthdays. Guess who’s turning thirty this year?

Tiffany ~~Amber~~ Thiessen. Of “Saved by the Bell” and “Beverly Hills, 90210.” Who didn’t want to be Kelly Kapowski growing up?
Mark Paul Gosselaar. Also of “Saved by the Bell” fame. Huge part of my formative years, casting expectations for crazy adventures, hangouts like The Max, and lockers so big you could fit a Screech in there.
A.J. Langer. First seen on the bus in the museum episode of “The Wonder Years” and then again in “My So-Called Life,” another religiously watched and loved show.
Devon Odessa. See above.
Leonard diCaprio. I first knew and loved him as orphan Luke on “Growing Pains”
David Faustino. Son of the disgruntled women’s shoe salesman on “Married...with Children.”
Jerry O’Connell. Teenage superhero with a secret identity.
Donald Faison. Beverly Hills “Clueless” sidekick.
Elisa Donovan. See above.

All these actors who played characters I grew up with as a child, prepubescent and teenager are starting their 4th decade of life. This means I’m not too far behind. And these are only the ones who are turning thirty – there must be scores of influential actors who are beyond 30, 35 now.
Because of Vh1’s “I Love the 90’s” series, memories that seemed “just yesterday” are proven to be 10, 15 years ago.

I’ve uttered phrases such as “kids these days” and “those crazy kids.” I look at some of the fashions in the stores and beeline right to the t-shirt and polo section. I invest in my company’s 403(b). My body creaks. I’ve gone to sleep at 10 o’clock. I’ve discussed ad nauseam how to determine whether one is still “with it” which is clearly an indication that one is no longer with it (see Simpsons episode Homerpalooza).

And I’ve clearly grown out of denial.

Moment of silence for my youth, please.



	Friday, July 16, 2004 · posted at 7:37 AM Excuse me, but my Rorschach blot has wrinkles. Have you ever noticed that some years have themes predominantly running through them? Not so much a general Chinese zodiac “Year of the Monkey” thing, but more personalized such as 2003 was the “Year of Bad Hair” or 2001 was the “Year of Bad Dates” followed by 2002’s “Year of the Dry Spell.” 2004 is shaping up to be “Year of Feeling Old.” At first, I thought I was safe. Tv and pop culture are anti-aging serums and I consume both on a regular basis. I watch Gilmore Girls and fast forward through scenes with the mother because I don’t relate. I have a job and though I’ve given in to the financial practicalities of bringing my lunch rather than buying, I choose to brownbag or plastic bag it rather than endorse the insulated coolers that are recommended by 4 out of 5 Soccer Moms. I had my 23rd birthday this year, which is not a scary landmark birthday at all. Except that Jessica Simpson said, “23 is old. It’s like almost 25, which is like, almost mid twenties” – and you know Jessica is never wrong with her pearls of wisdom. Slowly but surely the signs started popping up. One of the kids I work with asked me if I had any kids who collect Digimon cards. I still get carded at rated-R movies... do I really look old enough to have kids, much less ones with the cognitive ability to strategize and calculate attack points?! Marc Sommers, host of Double Dare and king of sliming, now hosts “Food Unwrapped.” MacGyver is on TVLand, the 24/7 Nick at Nite channel (Family Ties is also on Nick at Nite, but the transition was much more subtle). Times they are a changing. I opened up Us Weekly and they had a spread on celebrity birthdays. Guess who’s turning thirty this year? Tiffany ~~Amber~~ Thiessen. Of “Saved by the Bell” and “Beverly Hills, 90210.” Who didn’t want to be Kelly Kapowski growing up? Mark Paul Gosselaar. Also of “Saved by the Bell” fame. Huge part of my formative years, casting expectations for crazy adventures, hangouts like The Max, and lockers so big you could fit a Screech in there. A.J. Langer. First seen on the bus in the museum episode of “The Wonder Years” and then again in “My So-Called Life,” another religiously watched and loved show. Devon Odessa. See above. Leonard diCaprio. I first knew and loved him as orphan Luke on “Growing Pains” David Faustino. Son of the disgruntled women’s shoe salesman on “Married...with Children.” Jerry O’Connell. Teenage superhero with a secret identity. Donald Faison. Beverly Hills “Clueless” sidekick. Elisa Donovan. See above. All these actors who played characters I grew up with as a child, prepubescent and teenager are starting their 4th decade of life. This means I’m not too far behind. And these are only the ones who are turning thirty – there must be scores of influential actors who are beyond 30, 35 now. Because of Vh1’s “I Love the 90’s” series, memories that seemed “just yesterday” are proven to be 10, 15 years ago. I’ve uttered phrases such as “kids these days” and “those crazy kids.” I look at some of the fashions in the stores and beeline right to the t-shirt and polo section. I invest in my company’s 403(b). My body creaks. I’ve gone to sleep at 10 o’clock. I’ve discussed ad nauseam how to determine whether one is still “with it” which is clearly an indication that one is no longer with it (see Simpsons episode Homerpalooza). And I’ve clearly grown out of denial. Moment of silence for my youth, please.	Recent Posts Child's play. I’m not sure I quite understand the ... The bag of chips. VH1's "I Love the 90's" premie... Can’t I hold the boom mic? Karen's old roommmate m... Gobstopper Going to the movies always brings cert... Jedi Mind Tricks Spider-Man 2 broke opening day r... The problem with lies is that you build them up an... Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, and Kurt Cobain I jus... Dear CHRISTINA, Thank you for participating in th... JERRY: So you feel "women and children first," in ... ASAP, the other 4-letter word. Morning news babie goose ryan bluemouse daves son dawntaught desiree diorama emily escadawg galveric high entropy invisible cube jepgato kyellow lilly mhuang mogbert nudream starfish + coffee verbivore Archives March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 November 2008

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