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Wednesday, August 17, 2005 · posted at 2:27 PM

shhhhh... i've got a secret.

I knew when I saw two missed calls from Karen that something was very, very wrong.

The calls came at 9:43 and 9:54pm on Tuesday during the nomination ceremony episode of Big Brother. The first call was no doubt an ominous "I think something bad is going to happen" hysteria-induced commercial break call. The second, a confirmation that what we most dreaded had been actualized: Kaysar had been backdoor-ed onto the nomination block.

Boo Kaysar for giving away Head of Household. Boo Jenn for putting up the one guy who cares about integrity. Boo Maggie for being a freaking hypocrite of the worst degree; lying is punishable by eviction except when it's her own. Boo the wretched "coven" that's incapable of independent thought. Boo... hoo.

I was hoping when I went to Dingo's Hamster Watch, a blog based on BB live feed, I would find out that right after the credits started rolling at the end of Tuesday's episode, the omniscient Big Brother voice would announce that Kaysar was immune from eviction since it was his first week back in the house... but alas, this was not the case.

Instead, Hamster Watch recapped Howie going off on Jenn and April, Janelle prancing around, and drunken Beau puking over... well, everything. they read the rule book to see if Howie's out of bounds - they stumble on the word "disparagingly."

I don't want Janelle or Kaysar to go on Thursday. Right now I'm hoping that one of the other houseguests (anyone but Howie and James) will DQ themselves by doing something stupid. Is there anything in the rulebook about eviction due to disturbing behavior such as picking another's backne (back acne) or weird stroking motions?

In England's Big Brother, it's against the rules to overtly tell another who you will be voting for. If that was the case here, none of the Maggie-Yvette-Beau-Jenn-April bunch would know what to do with themselves.

The only houseguest I like this summer is Kaysar. Howie amuses me, James is smarmy, and Janelle makes me laugh. And... what are the rest of the houseguests' names? They have zero personality. I don't know anything about them except they like to pop pimples off each others' backs. I think part of this is that they don't have personality and what little they have is edited out by CBS. Why? I don't know... because it might ruin the "apple pie"-ness of the coven?

All I know is every week I tune in to watch the amusing footage recapped by Hamster Watch (Janelle running through the house talking about being a Buxom Blonde, Beau showing his "chocolate pee-pee," Janelle and Kaysar having deep, dark talks) and find none of it. Some dry Diary Room footage, Jenn acting bubbly, and Yvette being annoying. This week I was particularly disappointed that James' three attempts to kiss butt (completely scripted and all interrupted) weren't shown at all. I was looking forward to a laugh.

If CBS glazes over Howie's diatribes, including the nicknaming of Jenn as "Busto" for Busted Blonde...

Remember the story about the two men sharing a hospital room? The man by the window tells stories of what he sees on the outside: gree trees, kids running around the park, glorious sunsets. And then the man dies and when the second guy moves into the bed by the window, all he finds is a brick wall?

I wonder if that's this season of Big Brother. There's actually nothing going on, but that Dingo finds a way to spin it into something interesting. I'm so much more amused by the screenshots and captions on Hamster Watch than anything Julie Chen recaps on primetime.

I think what makes me most sad is how it all fell apart. Kaysar was primed to take over the throne. The kingdom had the numbers and then a misunderstanding between Kaysar and James blew it to kingdom come... What if Kaysar knew that the single vote for him to stay in his 7-1 eviction was James? What if they were able to have a heart-to-heart before the HoH competition? What if the two had aligned forces instead of turned enemies? Maybe if this wasn't the "summer of secrets," they would be the final two, a powerful duo... What if...



	Wednesday, August 17, 2005 · posted at 2:27 PM shhhhh... i've got a secret. I knew when I saw two missed calls from Karen that something was very, very wrong. The calls came at 9:43 and 9:54pm on Tuesday during the nomination ceremony episode of Big Brother. The first call was no doubt an ominous "I think something bad is going to happen" hysteria-induced commercial break call. The second, a confirmation that what we most dreaded had been actualized: Kaysar had been backdoor-ed onto the nomination block. Boo Kaysar for giving away Head of Household. Boo Jenn for putting up the one guy who cares about integrity. Boo Maggie for being a freaking hypocrite of the worst degree; lying is punishable by eviction except when it's her own. Boo the wretched "coven" that's incapable of independent thought. Boo... hoo. I was hoping when I went to Dingo's Hamster Watch, a blog based on BB live feed, I would find out that right after the credits started rolling at the end of Tuesday's episode, the omniscient Big Brother voice would announce that Kaysar was immune from eviction since it was his first week back in the house... but alas, this was not the case. Instead, Hamster Watch recapped Howie going off on Jenn and April, Janelle prancing around, and drunken Beau puking over... well, everything. they read the rule book to see if Howie's out of bounds - they stumble on the word "disparagingly." I don't want Janelle or Kaysar to go on Thursday. Right now I'm hoping that one of the other houseguests (anyone but Howie and James) will DQ themselves by doing something stupid. Is there anything in the rulebook about eviction due to disturbing behavior such as picking another's backne (back acne) or weird stroking motions? In England's Big Brother, it's against the rules to overtly tell another who you will be voting for. If that was the case here, none of the Maggie-Yvette-Beau-Jenn-April bunch would know what to do with themselves. The only houseguest I like this summer is Kaysar. Howie amuses me, James is smarmy, and Janelle makes me laugh. And... what are the rest of the houseguests' names? They have zero personality. I don't know anything about them except they like to pop pimples off each others' backs. I think part of this is that they don't have personality and what little they have is edited out by CBS. Why? I don't know... because it might ruin the "apple pie"-ness of the coven? All I know is every week I tune in to watch the amusing footage recapped by Hamster Watch (Janelle running through the house talking about being a Buxom Blonde, Beau showing his "chocolate pee-pee," Janelle and Kaysar having deep, dark talks) and find none of it. Some dry Diary Room footage, Jenn acting bubbly, and Yvette being annoying. This week I was particularly disappointed that James' three attempts to kiss butt (completely scripted and all interrupted) weren't shown at all. I was looking forward to a laugh. If CBS glazes over Howie's diatribes, including the nicknaming of Jenn as "Busto" for Busted Blonde... Remember the story about the two men sharing a hospital room? The man by the window tells stories of what he sees on the outside: gree trees, kids running around the park, glorious sunsets. And then the man dies and when the second guy moves into the bed by the window, all he finds is a brick wall? I wonder if that's this season of Big Brother. There's actually nothing going on, but that Dingo finds a way to spin it into something interesting. I'm so much more amused by the screenshots and captions on Hamster Watch than anything Julie Chen recaps on primetime. I think what makes me most sad is how it all fell apart. Kaysar was primed to take over the throne. The kingdom had the numbers and then a misunderstanding between Kaysar and James blew it to kingdom come... What if Kaysar knew that the single vote for him to stay in his 7-1 eviction was James? What if they were able to have a heart-to-heart before the HoH competition? What if the two had aligned forces instead of turned enemies? Maybe if this wasn't the "summer of secrets," they would be the final two, a powerful duo... What if...	Recent Posts The Book of Joe, Jonathan Tropper.After college, C... Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle"Beware of the man who... Leaving on a jet plane. Celine: Its just... its de... Now I know my A-B-C's... Too bad it's your 1-2-3'... But now, not so muchPauly Shore has a new show on ... emmanuel lewisSalesgirl (at a clothing store at th... Ida Know. When I was in high school, there was th... Kodak moment. Karen's dad can always tell when som... 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